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Life On Earth by nanashi Life On Earth by nanashi
Okay, this is my first time loading a .zip file here, so bear with me. The whole comic is 26 pages long, and rather then post each page one at a time I thought this would be more efficient.

Now then. I DEMAND that everyone who reads this leave some kind of comment! Don't just fave without saying why! This is the kind of thing that needs feedback and critique!

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:icontoniasis:
Toniasis Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
I definitely would love to read more. You are really skilled with expressions and natural dialogue.
So they live on Avalon?
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:iconotodog:
otodog Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
Really interesting and the biker guy was the coolest(although i am NOT doing my hair like that again...real pain to grow out after)and if there's one tiny little minus its that sometimes you can't read the tex.Other than that great work!
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:iconneopuff:
neopuff Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm kinda late looking at this but it is fabulous <3 Have I told you before how much I adore your style? It's so much fun to look at.
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2010  Hobbyist Filmographer
Wow, thank you very much!
Reply
:iconjustgeri:
justgeri Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2010   Writer
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT...just...with the awesomeness!!!!

so. very. cool.

Is there anymore?
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2010  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks! There's nothing more at the moment, I've been trying to come up with a second part for a while but can't seem to get it right. And also I suffer from ADD. Ooh, a butterfly! *scampers off*
Reply
:iconlackia:
Lackia Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2009
I think this was a really great comic, if a little rough. The story's really interesting, and the characters seem natural, not over the top or anything. I really would be interested in seeing more!
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:iconstarstoryteller:
Starstoryteller Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2009
I think it was a great action and it drove to the eage of my seat.
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:iconceleste-angel:
Celeste-Angel Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2009
Wow, awesome comic and interesting story! I look forward to seeing the sequal ^_^

Not sure as to how much I can really critique on seeing as that alot was already mentioned. ^_^; It really flowed though, and I loved all of the differant views that the panels had. The close up and the perspective panels, and the ones that zoomed out abit and gave a sense of an actual backround/scenery and not just white space. Some of the character's diverse styles really showed their differant personalities too.

I have to say, as a person who hopes to start working on their own comics one day, I think I've learned a lot more from your comic that I guess you would have from my comment xD; But yeah, Awesome job!
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:iconmoonstar-legand:
Moonstar-Legand Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009  Student General Artist
I know you have NO idea who I am, but I just read this, and ohmygosh I loved it!

Is this just a rough version of it? I sure hope so, because to see it more fleshed out would be AMAZING.

I really liked this because I really enjoyed the characters (and the story, although it was short), and your art is just so cute, I love it! The only thing I would have to say about the actual comic itself that I thought wasn't the best was the paneling--it was a little weird. Other than that, though, fantastic!

:heart:
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009  Hobbyist Filmographer
Wow, thanks a lot!

You're right, it's a rough draft, but I'm not sure when or how I'll do the next version. It would require a lot more time and work than I currently have. But the fact that there is somebody who likes the draft enough to want more makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!
Reply
:iconriverfox237:
Riverfox237 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That was really intriguing! I was fascinated by the storyline, and I really hope you do more with it; I want to know who the crazy lady is, and why she selected Mallory out of all the humans present! I love the rat, Bernadette! That was great!And I really love how you draw human faces; the girls looked very simple yet pretty, and you draw hair and expressions well. The storyline had great flow, with an excellent mix of action and comedy. (After all, no story is perfect unless it has at least some comedy in it!)
Great job! I hope that, at the very least, you might give us the privilige of finished versions of the pages posted here. Keep up the great work!
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks a lot for reading! I have a larger story in mind and part two is in the works (after a few false starts and revisions), and I will post it when it's ready. I hope everyone who reads it will enjoy it!
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:iconriverfox237:
Riverfox237 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're very welcome! ^^ 'Twas fun. Oo, can't wait to read the next part! :) Hope it goes well! And I'm sure people will enjoy reading it. ^^
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
As of now I've got ten pages pencilled up, that's about halfway through. :D
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:iconriverfox237:
Riverfox237 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sweet! Hope you have fun finishing them up. Gotta love that halfway point, when it finally feels like you might actually finish! =D
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:iconmind-wide-shut:
mind-wide-shut Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2008
I am not an artist, so I cannot really critique your work and I believe everyone has already beaten me to it.

I will say though that I loved it and the story was a total surprise to me. It was very creative! :D Thank you for posting it on here for us to read and I look forward to the continuation. I really do hope that you take the question mark away from the "to be continued" and actually have it continue! :)
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks a lot for reading and commenting! I appreciate whatever feedback I can get!

I am working to write a sequel, but since I'm back in school I have less time to draw my own stuff. It may take a while to continue, but it will!
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:iconkatimazie:
Katimazie Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2008
I'd like to say something productive, but most of what I was thinking that's good critique has already been said. I guess the biggest thing I can say is have her pet rat appear a bit in the start to introduce her and maybe try to smooth out the fight scene?

I think the whole "Some girl with a knife is chasing after us" scene was done very well. Having everyone notice, not just the main character, helps a lot. Anime seems to play that troupe a lot.

Also: The magical blonde guy (haha, they didn't recognize him) reminds me a bit of this one character that Osamu Tezuka has that I don't know the name of or what series he's from, but he's this giant naked golden guy from outer space. That is pretty much all that was needed to jog my brain on that.

Also also: I now have a bizzare mashup of "Ashes To Ashes" and "Starman" running in my head because my train of thought went "Life On Earth -> Life On Mars -> David Bowie -> David Bowie Music". Man brain what it up with you.
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks for taking the time to comment! (Darn, you're the first person to mention the problem blond guy. I'll have to go back and make the silhouette in the rescue scene less of a giveaway.) Now I want to look up that other media you just mentioned cuz I've seen exactly none of it.
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:iconkatimazie:
Katimazie Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008
I thought it was kind of funny, actually. Besides, it's easier to accept she didn't recognize his silhouette, as opposed to how every enemy in Sailor Moon didn't recognize Usagi because of a stupid tiara.

I went searching and finally found what Tezuka series has the giant guy. It's called Ambassador Magma, apparently. [link]
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Hehe, true.

XDD He's got rockets shooting from his stomach!
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:iconaeolus06:
Aeolus06 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008  Student Digital Artist
very awesome work on this :clap: very emotional and had a lot of depth to it and the style is amazing also :D very well done :clap:
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:iconsukeile:
Sukeile Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008
Loved every bit of it!
Sometimes it was difficult to read the text, but rarely and I think you're going to clean it up more soon anyway.
But Expressions, characters and perspectives were perfect!
Very easy to follow and exciting story! I want more!
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:iconcold-dark-night1351:
cold-dark-night1351 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008
I am really loving this. The story line is great, very unique, and unexpected at times! It kept me on the edge of my seat, and I wanted to continue reading.

Your characters are quite loveable (and hateable in the case of the green haired woman!) and stylistically, it's all very appealing and different from most that you see out there.

My only suggestion is to ink the wording, just because at times it was a bit difficult for me to read because it was so light. But other than that, I cannot wait for the next installment! Keep it up, pleaseeeeee! :D
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks for the comment! I think typing the dialogue balloons would be a good plan, since even with ink my handwriting can be hard to read. :p
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:iconbr3nna:
br3nna Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, I downloaded it and read it... got pulled in immediately due to a couple things... I love the art style, and the story was pretty good. I love the mix of the Disney style with anime. :)
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:iconzulema:
Zulema Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ha, ha, wow, that was a lot of fun, and that Adams guy is huge. But anyway I was kinda confused at first about the first apperance of her pet rat. "Wait, where did that come from,she had a pet?" you could have had Mallory looking for her pet but just give up knowing she/he's in the house and will turn up sooner or later. Other than that it "Freakin Awsome!!"
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thank you for reading and commenting! I agree with you about the rat's sudden appearance, and my friends who read this before said the same thing. That's something I'd change if I could rework this.
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:iconyakimono-mecchen:
yakimono-Mecchen Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008
i haven't read it yet and 'm faving it so i won't lose it because i've always really liked your stuff and i'm betting this'll be no different.

i'll leave a real moment when i have a minute to download it ^_^
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Aww, thankies! I shall wait with baited breath!
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:icondepleti:
depleti Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
Hey there! I'm not really a comics expert so I'm not sure what I can offer, but I shall make comments since I did read it and comments are nice to have. First (and please don't hate me for this) Audrey visually reminds me of Misty from Pokemon. The orange hair in that style combined with the anime look just culminates into that. There’s nothing wrong with the anime style, but I think Audrey’s design can be pushed a bit more. She seems like a punk (the good kind!), so perhaps just giving her an unnatural hair color altogether might further that look. Purple or pink or even blue, maybe change her hair-style too, give her a nose/lip piercing, etc. It’s all up to you, o’course. I did notice the boys (and Dusty) had more interesting, dynamic designs than the girls. Audrey and Mallory look very similar too, so close-ups might be confusing. I didn’t have that trouble this time around, but if you want to expand on the comic it might become one.

Also Sesha visually reminds me of Ren because of her eyes and green hair. However Ren is a character of yours and for all I know Sesha is another incarnation of that same character. I’m guessing there’s a specific reason she’s going after Mallory judging by the end conversation, but at first it seems like she’s just against any human, at that part where she’s trying to kill Mallory. There was no reason given why Mallory was specifically targeted. If the story is continued then I suppose it doesn’t matter but if this is just a one-shot practice then it might help to clarify.

Sometimes the pages seem too full of panels and too squished. Negative space can help in showing time passage, and manga especially finds unique ways to show things moving along instead of saying “Later” or “One tinkle later” (though that did amuse me). Her flushing the toilet itself shows that the deed is done. I’m still learning about pacing and paneling in comics myself, so I can only give things I have noticed also as a student. The idea of “Show, don’t tell” probably has as much merit in comics as it does in prose writing and any other form of storytelling. Btw, have you read any of the Scott McCloud books? They’re all fantastic, and there’s one specifically called “Making Comics” that goes into timing and panel styles. They really opened up my understanding of sequential art.

Your art is solid and appealing as always. You also have a movie-like way of framing things without it seeming like a storyboard (I have that problem sometimes). I still love your art, and I can’t wait to see more development. You also have my kudos for making any sort of comic at all! It can be tough, even just sketchy stuff. Keep it up! And I hope this wasn’t too long. XD You wanted a comment, so you got one! Mwaha.
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Whoa... I shall now attempt to respond to this very long and very indepth comment!

Okay, first, on Audrey. She originated as a Gorillaz fan-character (there's a pic of her in that stage floating around in my gallery somewhere), but here I was sort of trying to make her look more like Frankie from 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.' I could push her back into a more Gorillaz kind of look, though, which is more punk rock and would help separate her from Mallory more. Everyone I showed this to in LA told me I should try moving away from the anime look in my art, so I will be pushing all the characters into a different visual style from here on. If you look again you might notice that Mallory's face looks a bit different from panel to panel. That was me trying to find a more personal style, with varying degrees of success.

As for Sesha, the non-human traits she shares with Ren are very slight (yellow eyes with slit pupils and sharp teeth are about all they have in common). She was born as a totally separate and much more Terminator-like character. I decided after I finished this story that she should look more like an adult woman then a teen, which is how she appears in the cover image. She does have a specific reason for attacking Mallory, and since I intend to continue the story I left that motive vague on purpose here.

The first few pages are the ones I consider the roughest and most crammed with panels. I wasn't sure if I'd continue the story at the time, so I didn't try very hard to make the panel layout interesting. If I could do them again I'd space everything out more and show more of the setting that they're in, because it actually exists and matters. Besides the coffee mug on page one and some bits of dialogue, there is no visual evidence that Mallory and her friends live on an island. I actually own two of Scott McCloud's books on comics (except for that one), but I haven't read either in a while. Perhaps I should dust them off and refresh my memory more.

Thanks very much for such an indepth review and honest critique! Hopefully I will have time to improve on this draft, and make the next one even better!
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:iconrosesmusings:
rosesmusings Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think it was really well written! It seems like you've got you're plot very well planned out and it flows along pretty smoothly. Nice job on the suspense and action scenes, and I absolutely love the expressions of the characters! :aww:
I'd like to see more about the characters, too - they're really interesting, (I love their different styles.) and it would be fun to see more in-depth dialogue and information about them.
I enjoyed the comic, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next! :D
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks a lot! I have back stories for most of the characters already, though I think I need to explain their environment more. Did you happen to notice where they all live? If you didn't I'll have to make sure that comes through in the next draft.
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:iconrosesmusings:
rosesmusings Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome! :aww:
Yup - it was a really nice element, adding in all those little details, (i.e. the mug, ferry rides, cars, etc!)
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:iconeyemageone:
eyemageone Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008
ok i read it.

you have alot of interesting things going on there.

and i like your expressions.

pacing i think can be tightened up somewhat.

i could say more but i dont know if it will help with what you want to do.
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
Say anything, I'll take whatever you've got!
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:iconeyemageone:
eyemageone Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008
well right off i think its a great start...

but did you mean to jump from fangirl concert theme to wierd alien attacks me story?

it was a bit jarring is all im saying.

im not a pro artist by any means...so take my criticism or not...

what are you thinking of doing next for this?
aside from finishing the inking and colors that is.
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:iconnanashi:
nanashi Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008  Hobbyist Filmographer
The attack was supposed to be the main theme of this story, and the concert was meant to be a backdrop to hang it on. You're right, though, the transition from humor to action isn't very smooth.

I hope to do a second draft of this, where I'll try to fix the visual and story problems. After that I want to do a second chapter and see where that goes.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
Reply
:iconeyemageone:
eyemageone Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008
your welcome...
eager to see where you go from here.
Reply
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